I don’t quite know where to begin.
The last couple times I have updated my blog over the last year have been kind of all over the place. I apologize. It’s so easy this day and age how we can all look like we have our lives together on the internet all the time. Believe me when I tell you at the age of 22 now I would like to think I know what I am doing and I always try and stay very positive. Even when I’m really sad/mad/upset I always stay positive, I’ve always been that way. It’s really hard for me to walk around like I have a cloud over my head and always just deal with it on my own or dance, sing and play guitar to release stress and emotions.
This last year has been the hardest year of my life this far. I have learned so much about myself and the kind of people I want to surround myself with. Let me tell you I was surrounding myself with the wrong people. Moving to a completely new state and finding your people is SO HARD. I’ve said this before that I am very trusting and a little bit naive, but that’s genuinely only because I believe everyone is fighting their own battles and are doing the best they can, therefor they are only giving you the best they can. Surround yourself with people who better you as a person and who inspire you to be your best self. When you’re around people that are toxic for you after a while it starts to drain you, it starts to drain your energy and you start to see it in little aspects of your life, like keeping your car clean. Something so simple but take it as a sign that when you finally clean all of that out of your life you feel a big sense of relief and you feel like yourself again. I was around people that were trying to tell me who I should be, what I should wear, what I should sound like…. what I should write my songs about. Don’t get me wrong… constructive criticism is ALL welcome believe me. I’m always asking for feedback and what I can work on, but when people are blatantly telling you stuff to mess with your head and mess with your self esteem because they are just unsure of themselves and need to make them feel better. I was really thinking it was me the whole time too and it was really getting to me and messing with my head. Taking a step back and being around genuine people who were also telling me what I needed to hear was like a HUGE blessing. The amount of motivation that I’ve gained back after releasing all of that from my life is exactly what I was missing. As sucky as it is, we need to go through these things in life to make us realize what we want and what we need.
In this journey through music and putting my heart out into the world… I always no matter what happens I want to remain humble. As cliche as it sounds and I know everyone says it but I’ve seen the ugly side of what happens to people when they reach a little fame in their career and I never want to bring that into my life. That taught me an even bigger lesson than anything, honestly. Everyone that’s worked their ass off deserves that success and I’m so happy for them when they reach it, but when you do and then cut off everyone who’s been there for you and start treating people like you’re the best of the best it’s disheartening. It’s sad. When you’ve been there through thick and thin with people and they just cut you off like no problem but then give you lectures like they also know everything under the sun. It’s so sad. You have to come out of these situations strong though, because before all of this I never had a backbone and I was definitely a pushover. I am thankful now for these experiences because they really shaped the person and artist I am going to be. We are all forever growing and forever learning.
Don’t surround yourself with fake people. Point blank.
Moving onward and upward. To end the year I went out to Nashville and let me tell you guys. This changed my life.. This literally changed my life. I have never felt more at home in my life. I went out there by myself only really knowing one person and it was the best decision I think I’ve made all year honestly. When I got to the city it was such a positive environment that it just took every ounce of creativity out of my bones and threw it into music. I felt like a completely different person in such a good way. The people out there were the nicest people I’ve met all year and I met so many amazing people. The music community was so welcoming and in a place where there is so much competition it was like there was none, I say this because everyone wants to help everybody. It is almost like it was a family out there… with thousands of musicians. I soaked in every second of it and learned so much from every experience.
Hands down the best thing that happened to me this year was out in Nashville I had the opportunity to meet a lady named Jude Johnstone. Jude was the first woman in the industry that I had the pleasure of working with. I sat down with her for a couple hours and she told me countless amazing stories from her experiences in the industry and what to look out for and how she got treated to who she worked with and wrote for… and then to her own music and her creative vision. She then asked me to play a little something I was in the process of writing so I did, then we ended up finishing the song and it couldn’t have been more fulfilling. Jude has worked and written for Stevie Nicks, Johnny Cash, Trisha Yearwood, Bonnie Riatt and many more. I couldn’t believe this. I was quite literally on cloud 9. I can’t even put into words what this taught me and what I learned from it. She was probably the realest person I have ever met. I can’t wait for you guys to hear this song either. It means SO much to me. The story of this song is about what I’ve talked about in this post and I hope any of you can relate to it.
I left Nashville feeling like a new person. I felt liberated. I felt like I had a sense of myself again. I felt like me. This is the most ME I’ve felt in a long time. This happened at literally the perfect time and when it was much needed. I’ve said this time and time again but everything happens for a reason and this happened just before I embarked on an even bigger journey than I think I even realize. This all happened before I am starting to create what I hope and know is going to be the best album of my life this far. I’ll be keeping you guys updated on the process here. Stay tuned and thank you for staying tuned as many times as I’ve said it.
Below are some pictures that were taken in Nashville. It was a dream. A DREAM.